Loving You Forever Can't Be Wrong
by lastofyourpicknmix
Summary: Liam was cruelly ripped away from her, now how does she cope?
1. Chapter 1

_New fic, but only a short one - it'll only be about 5 chapters.  
>I've taken ideas and snippets from Lana Del Rey – Carmen, if you haven't listened to this song, I urge you to, it's so brilliant! And I felt like I could totally relate it to Carlas life when thinking back to her past and such. This little piece I've written isn't what the song is actually getting at at all, but I just thought I could take the part about her having a problem and apply it to writing this piece. It's a bit depressing and not my best, but I really wanted to write Carla in despair. Hope it's alright. I've been in such a creative mood, I've already got the next chapter written for you – well, if you want it that is!<em>

_Reviews and loved and appreciated, let me know what you think_  
><em>x<em>

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><p><em><strong>Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem. Lying to herself, 'cause her liquors top shelf.<strong>  
><em>

She hid the empty bottle of vodka that she'd quickly powered her way through, in one of the drawers of her desk. The unpleasant noise of it hitting all the other bottles lying in the draw echoed slightly through the hollow office.

She did not have a problem. Carla Connor did not have a drink problem.

She was lying to herself, along with everyone else around her. It wasn't her fault they believed her so quickly, she told herself. She made it look easy, made it look like drinking was just for fun. She glugged her way through at least one bottle of red every night, before heading over to the Rovers where she would consume much more of whichever poison took her fancy that night.

She didn't even need to try to fool anyone; she made sure she looked presentable, made sure there were no obvious signs of her being the complete mess that in reality she was. The reality that was fighting its hardest to break free from the confines of her thick make up; her disguise.

It wasn't like she was drinking for no reason. She'd been through more than most people had in her 37 years, things she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

Brought up from the gutter, a drug addicted mother and an alcoholic father; no one could blame her for the way she'd turned out.

But no, it wasn't even that.

She had fought her way up, battling to overcome the people who were supressing her to be nothing more than a failure.

She had succeeded.

She married Paul, she was presentable, people admired her looks along with her determination. She was a star compared to her former self, shining brighter than she ever had before.

But lightning struck her, being in love with your Brother in law is never going to be easy when you think about it.. But she couldn't help it. Even when she was with Paul, she knew she wanted Liam. Liam had no idea of his sister in laws underlying feelings for him; all he knew was that together they were like two peas in a pod. They always had a laugh, they were always the last ones standing and they were always the last two up at the end of the night, still going on the Jack Daniels.

One of her ever faithful friends these days..

She remembered on one of their very drunken nights that they had agreed if/when Carla had a kid she would have to call him Jack Daniel Connor, just out of respect for the drink that always bought them so close. She remembered grinning, imagining this kid, 'Jack'. But she didn't imagine this baby being part of the marriage she shared. This baby would never be hers and Pauls. She imagined him having the dark hair that they both shared, a cross between her green eyes and his blue orbs. God, if her and Liam ever had a child, he would be one beautiful little thing!

Things couldn't have got better for Carla, at one point, she had Liam in her bed, the factory was theirs to share, she was loving it. But things can't stay happy for ever can they? Twists and turns occurred and she ended up watching the secret love of her life. The one and only love of her life, Liam Connor, be ripped away from her, from the very man she was supposed to marry..

Well, she never expected a normal life, did she?

It wasn't enough to lose her husband only a mere few months before. No, every bit of her happiness must be stripped away from her.

Did she not deserve happiness?

This is why she was wandering around Coronation Street, stumbling over her own feet, struggling to stand. She was drinking to fill the hole, the void that Liam had left, the gaping wound that nothing else could heal. She almost laughed at how pathetic she felt. As she staggered across the cobbles, attempting to make it home in her drunken capacity, she let her mind wander to how she used to be. It was around the time she'd met the fateful Connor family, just when she had got on her feet properly.

She remembered walking through the streets back then; she almost glided with her new found confidence, her power increasing with each stride she took. The polar opposite of her state right now. She remembered glancing at everyone who passed her - she always caught their eyes, boys and girls alike. There wasn't one person who could say no to her when she batted her eyelids, making false promises to anyone who would listen. She had everyone in the palm of her hand, her strong mind and cheeky giggle was enough to give anyone butterflies. She loved the control she had gained.

But now, at 37, she was a shadow.

Nothing more than a drunk.

She was screaming inside, screaming for help. She was tired, that flare and sparkle she once had was gone. Her, the star, had faded away. Or been washed away, by her beloved booze. She may as well be dying, that was what it felt like.

There was no one here to save her any more.

She had nothing.

The days passed by and each day she did the same routine. She got dressed, making sure she looked as glamorous as ever, applying her lipstick with precision and care. She had to face the world, face the music.

Every day she plastered on her smile, just waiting for a chance to slip away and drink herself into a stupor, imagining what her life could've been like with Liam. The paradise she wished for every single waking moment, and sleeping moment too actually.

But that was a paradise she would never be able to live in. She was alone now, relying on only the strangers around her.

**_Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem.._**


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much for the reviews, so appreciated you lovely bunch!  
>Here's the second chapter, decided I quite like using Lana Del Rey lyrics for inspiration, hence the Dark Paradise lyrics at the start and end. Hope you don't mind, I just think it sets the scenefeeling for the chapter.  
>Let me know if you like the dreammemory piece, I'm thinking of doing the next chapter as another memory if you like it. _

_Reviews are loved and appreciated as always!  
><em>_x _

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><p><strong><em>Loving you forever can't be wrong, even though you're not here I won't move on.<em>**

**_ Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise._**

She tossed and turned in her sleep, the covers becoming tangled around her body. She used to love her sleep, everyone knew never to wake Carla when she was in her cocoon of covers, but recently her sleep had been short lived, full disturbances.

Every night when she shut her eyes, finally slipping off to her desired place of rest, she would see him. He'd popped up many times before in her dreams, but now it was every night, without fail. He'd be there immediately, never missing his cue. The darkness of her eyelids would soon be transformed, showing her a distant memory. A loved memory, the kind she was scared she would regretfully forget.

They were different every night, but tonight was one of her favourites.

Liam's 21st birthday party.

Oh that night had been a good one. She remembered looking exceptionally good, she wasn't afraid to admit it, after spending hours making herself look the image of perfection. She wore a tight fitting black dress, accentuating every aspect of every curve she held so well on her body. Her cleavage looked astounding, something everyone made sure to comment on when more than a few drinks had been consumed. The shade of the dress matched her loosely curled hair, which hung gently over her shoulders and down her back.

This dress was perfect, and didn't Liam know it.

As soon as she'd walked in she felt his eyes on her. He was standing by the bar, holding a bottle of champagne someone had just bought him, and already looking a little tipsy. She let her glittering eyes gaze over to him, giving him a cheeky grin and lifting her hand to wave. Her gaze was broken when Paul walked in front of her, leading her over to the bar, shouting his best wishes and happy birthdays at Liam in a jolly and excited manner. Carla chuckled, shaking her head at Pauls actions and gratefully taking a glass of champagne someone had passed to her.

The drinks were flowing easily, round after round of shots were being bought and quickly consumed by the Connor siblings and their friends. Barry and Helen looked on in dismay as they saw the effects of the buckets of alcohol their children were consuming take hold. They hadn't really wanted to be here, it was hardly their scene. So they sat, taking in everything around them like a pair of hawks. They watched Carla carefully, they never did believe she was good enough for Paul and Helen had to bite her tongue many a time as she took note of Carlas actions. She watched in dismay as Carla ran her hands over Liams chest leaning against his back, draping herself over him so her head was by his shoulder, whispering in his ear before the pair of them fell about laughing. She had already corrupted Paul in Helens eyes, which was why she couldn't take a minute more of watching her corrupt her youngest boy as well and was soon dragging Barry home.

What she didn't see didn't hurt her, she repeated to herself.

It was a good job she did leave, Carla was pretty sure she wouldn't like to see her youngest son pressed up against his sister in law to be. Paul didn't care, he was too busy working his way through his body weight in alcohol and chatting up other girls. Of course he loved Carla, but they both knew they were allowed to have fun, up to a certain level.

Carla had dragged Liam up to dance, a slow song was on and Paul was going to be no use. She didn't want to dance with Paul anyway, when she compared him to Liam that night he looked like a poor excuse of a Connor brother. She giggled flirtatiously as she saw Liams friends standing behind her, making gestures to tease Liam. One was running his hands up and down in a curved motion, as if to run his hands up and down the sides of a woman. Others were making thrusting movements and shouting to Liam to 'get in there'. Carla didn't care, she loved the attention she was getting.

She wrapped her arms around Liam's neck, pulling her body up to his, pressing her soft chest against his. He moved his hands to her waist, holding her against him as they swayed together. They whispered and chuckled into each others ears as the song played, happily teasing each other.

'Hey, you better not get too excited when I'm this close to you!' Carla teased as their bodies reached a new closeness, not a slither of light being able to slip between them.

'Ah don't worry yourself, I'm not as easily pleased as my brother.' He grinned back playfully.

The teasing continued, but neither could deny the building sexual tension between them both.

Maybe it was the booze they were both filled with. Maybe it was the flirting that continued to get more outrageous. Maybe it was how her head had come to rest on his shoulder, her hot breath tickling his neck as she spoke. Maybe it was the way her thumb rubbed his shoulder through his shirt, as if she were trying to break the barrier between them. Maybe it was how his hands held on to her bum, pulling her lower body so extremely close to his.

Neither of them really knew what it was, but eventually the song came to an end and they parted, giving a knowing grin to each other, both enjoying the moment they had just shared. They looked around before laughing and pointing at each other, resuming the teasing that they always played with.

As they glanced around the room they were glad to see Paul practically asleep on one of the chairs, he never could handle his drink like they could! Then they spotted Michelle far too consumed in what they guessed would be her bed partner for tonight. As they drank their drinks they both thought about it, they knew the position they had been dancing in had maybe been a step too far. Maybe it was crossing the level that she and Paul shared for the fun they had with others.

But she had liked it, and so had Liam.

And neither could wait for it to happen again, soon they hoped.

That was when Carla woke, she hadn't wanted to, she knew what was left of that night, the rest of the memory that she wanted to envisage. It was as if her dreams were teasing her, mentally showing her what she was missing, what she needed.

Who she needed.

**_There's no remedy for memories, your face is like a melody - It won't leave my head._**


End file.
